2199: Thoughts and Prayers

Show Notes

• — Keep Calm And Kristen On: Reena Calm and Kristen Toomey, from Chicago, are in studio
• — Nerd Fits: Chemda’s denial of her own allergies led to the cancellation of yesterday’s KATG and her being prescribed her very own inhaler
• — Called Off: Reena quit the call center she used to work for, but she left with stock options that (along with her kleptomaniac tendencies) have kept her afloat
• — It Did Say Drive Thru: Kristen, who has been married for 11 years and has 2 kids, is now a sober comic after driving into a McDonald's while she was drunk
• — Have A Drink On Me: Jackie 'The Joke Man' Martling, 14 years sober, calls in with a couple of fresh jokes and tales from his drinking days
• — You're Out: Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval was caught liking Instagram posts during his baseball game
• — Laces Up: Hollywood cast a new Peter Parker in the third Spider-Man film series since 2002
• — It's Called Freedom Of Speech: Bill Cosby is the subject of a defamation lawsuit from 3 of his victims for damaging their reputations
• — For Entertainment Purposes Only: 50 Cent claims he was only joking when he said he (illegally) put a sex tape featuring Rick Ross' baby mama online
• — Mr. NBC: Brian Williams, MSNBC's new anchor (who used to attack MSNBC), convolutedly talked about his lying ways to Matt Lauer
• — Shacking Up: According to inmates, Clinton Correctional Facility tailor Joyce Mitchell had sex with escaped murderers Richard Matt and David Sweat over 100 times. Richard and David's DNA was found in a cabin near the prison owned by several guards.
• — It's Tradition: A South Carolina state representative (who voted against even discussing removing the Confederate battle flag) wants to know why the 9 victims of the Charleston church shooting didn't do more to defend themselves. Walmart and Amazon will no longer sell items featuring or promoting the Confederate battle flag, and lawmakers from Virginia and Mississippi call to remove the flag from their states' license plates and state flags. A bust of a Ku Klux Klan member is still on display in Tennessee's state capitol.
• — Does This Offend You?: CNN's Don Lemon started his broadcast by holding up a Confederate battle flag and a sign featuring the n-word spelled out in large letters before interviewing a white columnist who believes President Obama should formally apologize for slavery