2444: Happiness Is a Warm Gun

Show Notes

• — Diet Cokehead: Tommy McNamara, who recently lost 100 pounds and kicked his Diet Coke habit, is in studio
• — FYI: An email from Tommy’s landlords led to his account being hacked and sending out unapproved messages to his entire contact list, including his ex
• — Straight Up Dong: Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom showed off their good sides in recent paparazzi pictures
• — Lonely Boy: A man was hospitalized for exhaustion after spending 10 days in the airport waiting for his no-show online girlfriend
• — The T-Bomb: According to Joe Scarborough, Donald Trump is very excited to have control of America’s nukes. Trump’s wife Melania most likely came to America as an illegal immigrant. Clint Eastwood believes Donald Trump saying what’s on his mind is refreshing in this ‘pussy generation.’
• — United States Of Ammo-rica: Missouri GOP gubernatorial candidate Eric Greitens’ campaign ads mostly consist of him shooting machine guns. The United States so far has 1 gold medal in the 2016 Olympics, in women’s 10 meter air rifle.
• — Kill Myself: Keith reviews Suicide Squad and Jared Leto’s in-character Joker antics
• — Yesterday: Keith is optimistic for the Paul McCartney concert he’s seeing tonight. Stay tuned for his review.
• — That’s New: Tommy moved from Chicago to New York a year ago and he loves it