63: The Piano Has Been Drinking

[Michael's Servant]

Confront your inner crazy, she just may be a cunt.

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Questions:

Dear Brother Love,
My younger sister just got engaged and I feel jealous.
I really hate admitting it but I can't shake it and I hope you and the audience can throw some advice my way.
Please don't judge. I really love my sister. The guy she's marrying is good to her. I really am happy for her. It's weird to know something is really good and to still have negative feelings around it.
I don't want to let her or anyone in my family know. I just want to get rid of the jealous feelings and focus on helping her with wedding plans.
Thank you for your help.
Elizabeth


Dear Brolo,
I'm 15 years old, male, I give all the shits I've taken in my life about this email.
I asked a girl in my school to the dance and she laughed at me. I can tell she's been telling people because I can feel them snickering behind my back.
I don't know how to recover from this. We only have two weeks of school left and I don't want to leave on this note.
Is there anything I can do?
Josh

[Keith]

Crazy is worse to women than cunt. Cunt isn't defined. Crazy is. Also, women will wonder and worry if they're crazy. They won't wonder or worry if they're cunt.

My pal Shoogbear said it best: Women call someone cray-cray to soften the word crazy. They don't bother softening cunt.