2088: Sick Sex

[Michael's Servant]

Live from UCB East as part of the New York Comedy Festival, feat. Andrea Allan, Katharine Heller, Mike Lawrence, Danny Hatch, Ray DeVito, Greg Behrendt, and Ophira Eisenberg

Guests:
Andrea Allan
@Mandrea_Allan

Danny Hatch
@DannyHatch

Greg Behrendt
@GregoryBehrendt

Katharine Heller
@SPKHeller

Mike Lawrence
@TheMikeLawrence

Ophira Eisenberg
@OphiraE

Ray DeVito
@RayDevito


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[iheartnihilism]

Andrea Allen sounds wasted. Good show.

Threesomes are great as long as two of the people aren't dating. That's always trouble. Thought that was common knowledge!

[Yvan]

Fun show. Greg Behrendt made me really laugh, but I enjoyed them all. Thanks for sharing for those without VIP.

Originally Posted by iheartnihilism

Threesomes are great as long as two of the people aren't dating. That's always trouble. Thought that was common knowledge!

I was dating during two of my threesomes one of the three, I mean once I had two threesomes and I was dating one...crap, this is confusing and I'm no Mathelete. My experience was that they're not always trouble. Trying to explain this without sounding like I fucked an algebra equation is harder.

[Keith]

Someone brought to my attention that there are pictures in show notes but not content about the pictures.

It turns out our Main Hyper-Production and Upload Department (aka Danny Hatch) put up the live UCB show file onto Libsyn without adding the newer addition we put on, which is about 15 minutes in the beginning and a little goodbye and message to tweet your favorite UCB guests at the end.

If you didn't get this beginning, please delete and re-download this show and you'll get everything you deserve.

Sorry for the hassle.

[crazy4having3]

While Andrea's story certainly lived up to Chemda's hype, it was Katharine's that did me in. I literally felt faint listening to that. I can't imagine having to snip my own hymen at the ripe old age of 14. Note to self: never give my daughter OB tampons.

[swiggy]

Haven't gotten to the show just yet - but I am going to comment on the poll. I -almost- had a threesome (so Keith, not fucking with your science. Voting No).

I was casually dating a girl who would escort on the side, and she got a bit attached to one client because he paid really well. I was fine with it, you make money how you make money. All I cared about was that she was safe about it, and she was. His wife ended up killing herself (she had a lot of issue, both physical and mental that doctors could no longer assist her, so it was one of those suicides where on the surface you're like "yeah, that probably wasn't a bad choice"). What bothered me was he never really "grieved" properly as they were together a long time, joking inappropriately about the situation, and there must have been issues because he was seeing my kinda-not-really-girlfriend for pay. It all seemed off. They then became a couple (so, he stopped paying that way), and we started to see each other less and less. A week after all that happened, she invited us both over, and the whole night seemed really off. As the night ended, she wanted to start fondling and making out with me in front of him on the floor: nope. Creepy factor way too high. I bailed and asked for a ride home.

Yes, we're no longer seeing each other. I realize that it was for the best, she wanted what I couldn't provide - Guuchi, trips, a new car... Yada, yadda. *sings Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold-digger*. I hold no ill-will really, yeah, a piece of me should have seen it at the time, and yes I dodged a bullet. But they're happily married now with child, and she's happy. That's all I care about. I got to know him a bit better, he's not so bad. He'll take care of her and the baby. I can't ask for more.

It's funny, though, I don't see them lasting just from a rational standpoint - they moved in together in a month of the other woman's death, engaged (in Italy during a round Europe trip) and married in 3 months, and now baby in less than a year. Yeah. Statistics aren't on their side.

I should clarify, too, because I know how astute these forums are (that's why I love this place and this community) - I did post a while back that I was asexual, and I do believe I still fall under that umbrella somewhat. To this day I still don't have an urge to go after someone sexually unless I'm really, really close to them. Even then, I love to express my sexuality in non-physical ways (the mind is a wonderful sex toy for all genders). Would I participate in a threesome? Yes, under 'correct' circumstances. I know they say don't do it with a dating couple - I wouldn't put 'married swingers' in that same category. There's a lot of them around here who've been doing it for years, it's their kind of sex life. There's even a few clubs (Nova Scotia, you'd never think). If I know the couple well and all they're doing is fulfilling a sexual want they both wish to try, and I'm keen on both, git 'er done.

[Keith]

This was Ophira's EXACT story word for word!

[swiggy]

Holy shit Keith! I just watched the video (get VIP people, Danny's visual aid... ), no kidding that was similar. Only difference is we were all sober and I should have caught on to what was happening faster. Ophira was down to fuck at the start, I didn't realize it was leading up to fucking until the situation started. Communication, what the hell happened to that? I did, though, have a feeling something was up when the girl kept lengthening our get-together, listen to your gut people. Yet, I do have that story to tell.

Ophira's take on a Canadian threesome, I'm gonna have to agree.

Since I'm headed down the TMI train, to Katherine, I too lost my hymen unconventionally. The OB/GYN had to cut it due to it being a Septate hymen (apparently very rare: when it's like a bar right in the middle and will not break no matter what you do, other than to cut it). I used to call it my mighty hymen.

Imagine that as an X-Men power? What can you do? Oh, my hymen can't break. Lamest superpower ever.

Also pointing out this is the perfect 69th post. I'll stop now.

[iheartnihilism]

Originally Posted by swiggy

Imagine that as an X-Men power? What can you do? Oh, my hymen can't break. Lamest superpower ever.

I watched the first couple of seasons of True Blood and there was a character who was turned into a vampire when she was a virgin. She got a human boyfriend and every time they fucked there was blood/pain cause her hymen would grow back. (That's pretty much around the time I stopped watching..)

[Keith]

They thought they were so clever with that idea that they stopped writing a plot.