2764: Men Are from Hell, Women Are from Venus

[Michael's Servant]

with Ted Alexandro and Andrea Allan – Soft speakers in arguments; relationships with big age differences; KATG induces breakups; the non-apologies of sexual predators and comedians reactions to Louis C.K.; Pat Dixon revisited

Guest:
Ted Alexandro



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[Lanfear]

Its kind of disappointing to figure out that as we get older some people just stop evolving and suddenly I have old white man friends

I got into a "raised voices" (aka almost screaming) match with one of them last weekend while pleasantly chit chatting while drinking delicious Riesling. And then somehow the whole sexism/sexual harassment topic came up. And it only took him minutes to say a full list of terrible un-woke statements that just made me so fucking mad.

Examples:
"well I have a solution: women should have just said something and it would not happen anymore"
"oh so I can't give my coworker compliments about her pants anymore?"
"well how am I supposed to hit on a woman anymore? e.g. when I sit on a couch with her and go for a kiss is that harassment now?"
and then the highlight
"well we had to let go a woman at work and then she suddenly claimed sexual harassment"

I knew he votes conservative (for Apia: FDP) but I really thought he was better than that.

[Mermaid]

You didn't ask him if he hangs out with 20 year old men.

I feel like you just said you would ask that question on a recent episode.

Or maybe I dreamed it.

But still.

he likely would have been coy about that also. "well.. Idk... I feel like I do but maybe not... I don't really ask people their ages"

Wishy washy ride the fence ass mofo.

[Mermaid]

He seems cool but his lack of hard stances this episode annoyed me.

[The Girl]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

You didn't ask him if he hangs out with 20 year old men.



I feel like you just said you would ask that question on a recent episode.



Or maybe I dreamed it.



But still.



he likely would have been coy about that also. "well.. Idk... I feel like I do but maybe not... I don't really ask people their ages"



Wishy washy ride the fence ass mofo.

I felt like when I asked him why he would go on that date to begin with that that was similar if not more accurate. The fact that he said he understood that that was weird answered that question for me.

It felt redundant at that point. Sincerely asking if I’m wrong.


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[Enunciated Piffle]

I don’t get how Ted fell in love, got married, and that’s somehow a bad thing..?

Also I don’t understand the poll. I’m all sorts confused.

[AstoriaGirl]

I mean, I think dating a 20 year old when you're 37 is weird, but I also dont know either individually personally, so what room do I have to judge? That said, I think it's the absolute upper bound I could imagine entertaining. If you had a 60 year old guest on that was like "yeah, i met my wife when I was 55 and she was 20", you would never be able to convince me he wasn't an absolute creep. But then again, I think that's the plot of Louis CK's new movie, so...

[whatchumacallit]

If this confrontation proved anything about Ted Alexandro it is that the one thing that is truly dear to his heart is his image. His whole Jesus act is just a constructed facade, that crumbles the second he himself has to make the right decision.

Of course, the first thing he did was enter amnesia mode. As Chemda talked some more his reaction was to immediately flip the burden of proof over to K&C and gain himself some time to think. He says he remembers the phone call but “Uh… forgive me for being this clueless. what happened with pat?”. The classic “good guy” manipulation move where the other party has to feel obligated to lay out the facts first, and hopefully (for him) leave some sort of opening, so that he can construct a way out for himself using whatever flaw the other person inevitably introduces on the spot. Coincidentally this must be one of the ugliest ways gain the upper hand and manipulate younger and less experienced people. Lets you flip any complaint of your partner back onto themselves if you lack the maturity to deal with a woman your own age. How about he explain his sudden amnesia about a thing that he obviously felt so strongly about that he had to get personally involved! How about he try to reconstruct it by himself and K&C fill out the rest?

In the end he must have sensed that he probably wouldn’t get away with that tactic and abandoned it halfway through, but it still showed that he must feel really really personally threatened if his he gets called out. And what does Mr.Perfect reach for first? Of course: manipulation.

And what was that next thing where he was hearing people say that pat raped someone and… what? Perhaps THAT’s why he stepped in because that was taking it a bit too far? are you kidding me? You hear people accuse Pat of rape and that’s what awakens your protective instincts FOR PAT?
Listen to that part again and vomit. I think right there he remembered his true motivation for getting involved and suddenly heard himself say it out loud and decided to better try and steer clear of THE MAIN POINT!

So then he had to get far away from his real intentions. He starts talking about what his intention WASN’T: “I don’t think I was trying to silence you”. Fair enough, but then again nobody said that. He wasn’t trying to bully them into keeping quiet. But he was protecting Pat, he was trying salvage that assholes reputation. He sure as hell didn’t feel compelled to seek out the people who are saying that they actually got hurt and who are risking their careers in order to stop him. That’s what this sanctimonious fighter of causes DIDN’T think of doing. Of course back then there wasn’t a well known movement that he could conveniently adopt to save himself the trouble of thinking for himself.

When that didn’t do it he just flat out apologised. To Chemda? To Keith? Both? For what? Nobody in that room needed an apology, nobody asked for it. But it sure did end his part of that topic of conversation real quick, so I guess it worked.

All in all I came away thinking that he is a real weak little man who enjoys cultivating a progressive image but weasels his way out of accountability when it counts just like the rest of them. And that his unraveling came right as he was talking all holier-than-thou about the latest responses of accused men and how they all try to weasel themselves out of owning up to their wrongdoing was just delicious.

K&C held him accountable and that is exactly why I love this show. Keep it up, I love you guys.

[AstoriaGirl]

Again, I know next to nothing about this guest, but he didn't come across to me the level of psychopath it would take to be as calculating and fake as you're implying.

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by AstoriaGirl

Again, I know next to nothing about this guest, but he didn't come across to me the level of psychopath it would take to be as calculating and fake as you're implying.

Agreed and generally Ted is pretty awesome from what I heard on other shows.
But a lot of his 'brand' is fighting injustice and from today's show I got the same feeling of him having a huge blindspot when it comes to sexism.

Especially the 'now I'm married I understand' (just imagine how much he will understand if he happens to get a daughter) and 'somebody said rape so I called to mention that's not nice for Pat to have to endure' points rubbed me the wrong way