50: Transmen

[Michael's Servant]

Actor Lauren Hennessy and poet Kit Yan talk about being transgender.

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[flerchin]

Chemda and Lauren are such great ambassadors. In my daily life, I do not have the opportunity to interact with Lesbians*, transgendered people, or even Jews for that matter. Through this show I have learned so much, had my preconceptions challenged and broadened, and been quite well entertained.

Yet another episode that justifies the price of VIP on its own.

*I'm not sure how comfortable you are with being labelled "lesbian" when it's so clear that Lauren is a dude, but I don't have a better word for it in my vocabulary.

[The Girl]

Flerchin,

Thanks so much! I'm glad that you like the show! It means a lot to me that you, not only enjoyed it, but took the time to post your response here!

About the "lesbian" word. You're right, I don't identify as lesbian. I use these terms sometimes:

- Same sex relationship

- Queer relationship

Hope that helps!

[DJQuad]

Not sure if anyone plays Starcraft 2 but one of the top competitive gamers in the world is transgendered.

Starcraft 2: Transgender gamer quietly wins, in more ways than one | GlobalPost



She's friggin amazing to watch.

[flerchin]

Anyone else a bit cautious about the word "queer?" When I was younger it was a slur, on the same level as "fag." It's a useful term for this whole spectrum of sexuality that we're discussing, but I'm not sure if squares like myself should be allowed to use it.

[BrianAlt]

Okay, this is a little hard for me to write, but I'm going for it anyway...

First, Chemda, you have called me an, "average white guy," and I totally understand that. I look like an average white guy. But that's insulting to me. And that's because I don't feel like an average white guy!

As a child I was meek and timid. Therefore I got beat up. I got beat up a lot! When people see pictures of me as a child they say, "awww, you were so cute!" But actually, I was a victim. And I see myself as a victim.

As I got older and stronger I realized people were seeing me differently. People saw me as more dangerous. And I took advantage of that. Like Lauren playing, "the woman card," I was playing, "the man card." So, sure, I often like being seen as the Average White Guy and not The Jew or The Fag or The Little Pussy. Because it's so much easier to blend in as the white guy.

I feel like I don't associate well with other, "average white guys." That's because I don't feel like I am that. I have ONE close friend, another average white guy. I love women. I love talking to women. Me, my wife and three of her friends? I feel totally comfortable in that situation. When I post things on Facebook, 20 women and 3 men click LIKE. There's got to be something to that!

I'm a romantic. I'm the keeper of the relationship between my wife and me. One day I bought my wife sexy panties and with a note put them both in her pocketbook. She found them when she got to work. The note said to wear them the rest of the day and show me them when she got home that evening. She was a little dumbfounded. She wasn't sure what to do. (Duh! Just put them on and show me when you get home!) She confided in a girlfriend at work and the girlfriend said, "I wish my husband would buy me panties. "

I'm the planner. I'm always looking for the next opportunity to go away with my wife. I'm always looking for the next great restaurant to try out. I'm looking to do things with her.

I'm a fan of Broadway. I enjoy going to shows. I enjoy seeing plays. I enjoy the music.

I cry. I cry at stupid things. I cry at movies. I cry at shows. I cry to see my children achieve. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm happy.

I'm NOT BLACK AND WHITE! My wife is black and white. I'm totally gray!

I have plenty of female energy. I'm NOT AN AVERAGE WHITE GUY!!!

But no one can really know that, because society says I need to hide that. It's easy to hide behind the average white guy persona, but I'm still that little pussy.

When Lauren talked about being transgendered I asked a lot of questions about it on the forums. I got attacked for the questions I asked. But then Lauren showed up and answered the questions and understood why I was asking the questions and didn't act like I was attacking him (it's hard for me to say HIM still today, the brain doesn't want to do that). But I feel like we became friends that day. At least as much as you can be friends with someone you met a handful of times.

I yearn for the opportunity to sit with Chemda and Lauren and just have a quiet discussion about this shit. I have for years now. I've had many of opportunities to spend time with them. Most of them I haven't taken advantage of. But the settings just aren't me. If you guys want to have dinner with me sometime, I'd be so into it.

I feel like I've rambled. I hope I've made my point.

Thanks for the show. It was amazing.

[BadderWorse]

Hearing Lauren talk about their transformer analogy reminded me of this image. I think it explains a lot. I liked this episode very much. One of my close friends from my childhood identifies as gender queer, and views gender as a very fluid concept or idea. I think it is very fluid as well, because you can like several (seemingly conflicting) things at once and not have to be labelled as this gender or that gender.

[Enunciated Piffle]

"Gender is far more fluid than we thought" - Lauren

Agreed.

Really enjoyed Chemda's questions, but was confused and annoyed when Kit Yan refused to answer her, "So you were born a woman?" This completely halted the interview for me. Running around with an iPod. Listening to this on audio, I'm completely lost. I don't have a physical picture of Kit and her description/ picture is beyond vague.

All I hear from Kit is "I'm a man. Refer to me as such. This is the end of it."

I'm completely fine with gender identity and think in the future it will be less taboo and eventually normalized. As a straight male, however, I do not see the cause being furthered by avoiding the discussion. I realize it pains the person, but either you're going to discuss it, (if your intention is to educate and help others understand) or you're going to do what Kit does. Be PC and simply hope for the best.

I did like Chemda discussing her own sexuality because her's is a perfect example of 'fluid sexuality.'

Look, we don't need to dissect sexuality with words to have sex, (whatever our preference) but we sure as hell need every word possible if we're going to describe it to those who are completely in the dark. I'm glad there are men like Lauren who can approach the trans topic with humor, honesty, and heart. Anything less is convoluted.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by flerchin

Anyone else a bit cautious about the word "queer?"

This is a damn good question. I myself thought it was a slur, as well.

I remember reading a book entitled 'Queer' by William S. Burroughs. It was written back in the day. I assumed it was an outdated and somewhat 'hateful' term.

Here's the thing. The one's who want to know, (people like us) should not be beaten by the PC cops for asking. I'm not excusing a cavalier, nor hurtful tone, either. I'm just saying if ever the different types of human beings are gonna understand one another's sexuality; it has to be done with complete transparency.

The idea of trans men has existed since the beginning of man. In Native American cultures they were considered Holy. "Two Spirit" was their title and they were regarded blessed and knowing.

It was interesting how Lauren described it as 'playing a man card,' etc. It's a genuine look into both genders. The world has been so ruled, (possibly ruined' by an all male, total testosterone, view that it might just be the one thing that saves it.

[BrianAlt]

You can Google Kit. Plenty of pics.