2184: Bad Kid

[dannyhatch]

with David Crabb – Taxi conversations; introducing yourself to people you met; Jackie Martling calls; growing up gay and goth in San Antonio, TX; Texas allows students to carry concealed guns on college campuses; the Vatican’s disgusted with Ireland’s pro-homosexual vote; Josh Duggar molested at least 4 of his siblings

Guest:
David Crabb



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[Nettie-poo]

HOW is that poll even a question?? Catch the kid who does the molesting at a young enough age and they can get mental help, and stop a future predator. No no, please, let's NOT tell anyone and visit my kid in prison later instead for raping women in Central Park who looked like his sibling because he has a mommy complex cause daddy watched while he did it.

[Sparrow]

i can see how a child raised in that environment could do what he did. i don't think it necessarily means he would/is offend(ing) again. their community is very rigid in their gender/familial roles (which probably added to the fucked up justification of the molestation as those roles were skewed in a family so big with older children serving as a surrogate parent). he now has an appropriate sexual outlet in his life as an adult. he was a juvenile offender not a grown pedophile. semantics, sure, but i think it's important context.

as far as punishment goes, i don't think i would have handled it that way--i don't know how i would have handled it or how far i would go to hide it-- and they certainly went to the wrong proper authority when the sought state authority, BUT i can get why those people chose to handle it so internally. insular communities do that. shame is a big, big thing. he, as a young teen, even though a juvenile offender, that young'n was publicly humiliated by confessing in front of an entire church and likely never received the counseling needed to overcome whatever it was that had him justifying his actions to himself. that's fucked up. 14 year olds are not the best at handling anything. even themselves sometimes.

as much as his sisters were victims, i think he himself was a victim of similar circumstance. it's a complicated situation that i don't think it best served, even if just an exercise at handling grown juvenile offenders, by not actually thinking about how this could have happened and that these are real people who are still family who have to move forward together somehow from this really dark thing that happened to them. will we give them the opportunity to do that? are we going to do the same by demanding all of their humiliation be broadcast to us? how important is our need to visibly see these people suffer above and beyond what they've all suffered for the last 12 years?

that being said, dumbfuck move for going on national television with that out in the world. i can't help but feel like they brought so much of it on themselves. but, again, is that justification for us to enjoy it so much?

[Nettie-poo]

Ok, you're right. I took that too far. I do think bringing it to authority attention early could get help, rather than ignoring a possible problem.

I know what it's like to be the victim and the "predator" at the same time.

[Sparrow]

what would actual justice, for the girls AND for josh, look like?

[Nettie-poo]

Proper parenting from the beginning? Time travel?

[Sparrow]

well, let's try.

we have a 14 year old juvenile offender who molested a half dozen people. what's fair punishment and how do we make sure that child still has a future. that's how we handle juveniles; with an intent to preserve the rest of their lives.

[Nettie-poo]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

well, let's try.

we have a 14 year old juvenile offender who molested a half dozen people. what's fair punishment and how do we make sure that child still has a future. that's how we handle juveniles; with an intent to preserve the rest of their lives.

Ok. Ok. Don't hate. I'm just boobs and no brains. But here's my best go.

Proper sex ed, super important. Group therapy can help but it's really important that separate therapy be a thing too. When I say he should be reported to the authorities, it is NOT to be sent to prison. It's to get help. There are two really big issues: Either he'll never realize the error of his ways making him a legit danger to society, or he'll see the error of his ways and feel regret. There are solutions, albeit not perfect, to both.

If he doesn't understand that what he did was wrong, criminal court and possibly prison is the safest way to go to prevent future sexual crimes.

If he does understand and feels that guilt, and if it's possible, talking to his "victims" could give both parties closure. Also, becoming a leader among other sexual attackers looking to change their ways could also help him overcome his own guilt and improve life rather than decrease it.

No matter what way it goes though, therapy therapy therapy. For everyone! I think everyone should be talking to someone anyway, but in cases like these, its important to talk to someone who will never ever say "I understand what you're going through" because no...no you don't understand. Even if you go through the EXACT SAME THING you are a different person and you don't understand.


Situations like this, there is no growing up normal, not even mentally healthy. But on the plus side, no one is mentally healthy. The only people who can truly control where their life takes them after that shit, is them. So I'm overstepping my boundaries making assumptions. It's just...personal perspective.

[Sparrow]

i think, too, removing him from the home longer may have been a step towards letting the sisters reclaim their home as a "safe space." on top of the physical violation, even their beds are…i don't know…unclean?

they rushed back to normalcy so fast. smiling faces. everyone together. and put it on tv where there was no opportunity to be anything BUT smiling faces, everyone together.

[Nettie-poo]

Yes yes yes!!!