2447: Just Keep Swimming

[Michael's Servant]

with Jason Burke – What happens after a My Name Is Keith recording; flirty therapists; blondes vs. brunettes; wife and mistress put competing obituaries of their dead lover in the same paper; Lindsay Lohan’s man troubles; the first pro football game is cancelled; going to waterparks when you can’t swim; Chemda’s bike chain comes off mid-ride; Chemda engages with cellphone thief; The Rock vs. Vin Diesel; an all-female Ocean’s 11

Guest:
Jason Burke


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[Keith]

Apia can't speak for everyone, but she is a great swimmer.

[Todd]

Is the title of Ocean's 8 a joke itself because 8 is about 73% of 11?

[Sparrow]

non-swimmer. (and brunette *WINK*) i've never been to a water park, but it sounds gross and terrifying. i don't get the appeal.

*brain-eating amoebas

*sitting around in chairs that all have pools of tepid pool water in them a bathing suit all day trying to eat hot dogs and i imagine the buns get super soggy and everybody goes home with yeast infections

*pee

*poop

*blood

*everybody else's dead skin and germs

*highly chlorinated swimmer's ear

[Keith]

Only the parents with broken bones and bores rest in the chairs. And you're not wading in pools. You go down a slide, if it's one of the deep pools at the end you try not to die for 3 seconds, and then you're out.

Bring a partner. Let them know you might die.

[Sparrow]

well, if the opportunity arises i'll attempt to meet it with courage and a buddy. in the meantime, it's a lot less gas to go slide down rocks. ya know where the snakes are and if you break a bone there's no one to hear you scream.

[littlp]

The kid on the slide didn't break his neck....he was fucking decapitated. His head hit the lady behind him and fractured her eye socket and broke her jaw. They were also covered in his blood. http://sandrarose.com/2016/08/caleb-...t-water-slide/


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[Thumbnail]

Chemda and Keith's silent exchange when Jason shared that his therapist told him to quit stand up is why you should watch all the videos.

[zappbrannigan]

Can Blue Apron bring back the Tinkerbell Pepper recipe so we can hear Keith say Tinkerbell Peppers again?

[therewillbesnacks]

It's funny to think about how swimming, especially treading water, is basically a constant battle against death, and yet we're all just laughing and splashing 'n shit like it's no big deal.

I can swim, but barely. Treading water is especially an effort. I remember watching my friends swim effortlessly as a kid and just being jealous. I also remember loving summer camp, but dreading "swimtime". The camp counselors were no help either. It's exactly like Keith was describing - "What's the matter, just swim!"

"Oh shit, it worked! Wow, thanks!"

I really think it's just one of those things you have to learn at a super young age.