2638: Disorderly Conduct

[Keith]

with Costaki Economopoulos and Andrea Allan – Children, football, and beauty pageants; Shaq admits the Earth is round; your lover’s past; joint custody; children discovering sex; how to be a superhero; Born in China’s dead snow leopard; rugby; Pizza Hut pepper spray; shooting off your penis

Guests:
Andrea Allan


Costaki Economopoulos



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[Keith]

Describe how you were abused.

I'm serious.

[Keith]

Where were the belt hits?

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by Apia

Where the body is mostly clothed

I thought at first you were hit in the face with a belt. I'd call that violent violent. I understand now and see clearly the comma.

However, those beating you got that left marks, also violent. Many people have a tendency to down play their trauma. Most people want to avoid the drama that comes with it or my down playing the trauma they can avoid feeling like a victim. I don't want you to feel like a victim of abuse. It sounds like you are well at peace with this part of your childhood. I do think you should recognize it for what it was.

Apia, let me be perhaps the first to tell you. You were a victim of violence, not not violence. Plan old violence. If it left a mark then you where hit hard enough to cause lacerations or abrasions of the skin. I would say sever abrasions if the marks were more then red and left notable marks. Do you have any scars from this? I understand it was a different time and place, I'm not trying to vilify your guardians at the time but you are not that old and honestly a spanking on the butt with a hand is pretty violent and that doesn't leave marks. (if a "spanking" left marks I think that is not a spanking it's a beating.)
Honestly, if hitting someone with an object like a stick or a belt is not violent then what is violent, where is that line? I'd rather be burned with a lit cigarette then hit with a stick.

[Archimedes_Screw]

Love the shit out of these polls lol

[Archimedes_Screw]

Keith this comes from a place of love. I have never heard an accent like yours. It sounds like an amalgamation of all of the accents north of the Mason Dixon line. I love it.

[Keith]

Of course it comes from a place of love because my "accent" has a lovely tone.

Thank you.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by Apia

I talked with my parents about it and said how wrong they were. And that my kids should grow up without violence. The reactions were very different.

My father said: " we didn't hit you. You don't know what real hitting is"
My mother said : " oh we did. We didn't know what we were doing and it was wrong. " and to my father: " don't lie to yourself "

Father: " I don't remember ( how can he not remember? He doesn't want to) but if this is true that was wrong"

So we are somewhere in the grey area about it. I don't downplay it.

That is so great that you had a conversation with your parents about it. It's very possible your father has suppressed the events, especially if there were other difficult things going on at the time. It's not easy to talk about this kind of thing with anyone let alone the one who did the hitting or was in a position to intervene and didn't. Humans are certainly flawed and make mistakes sometimes. Well except Keith, as he has said many times "I don't think I've ever made a mistake." I know I've made mistakes as a parent, not the least of which was not doing more to prevent a Trump presidency.

I thought when you wrote that it was not "...extremely violent..." that you were down playing it. I read that wrong I guess. The fact that you're still alive means it was less then maximally violent. I wasn't there so if you say it was less than extremely violent I'll take you at your word. It was at least pretty violent and not not violent.

[Scorpion]

By the way, I'd take the belt to that women. I have a bad shoulder and carpel tunnel in my wrist so it would take some time to beat her to death or maybe I would be disqualified... but I'd do it. I can't imagine what that child went through just hoping she would stop but she just kept hitting and hitting screaming 'please stop', 'I'm sorry', or 'I'll do better' and she just kept hitting. How does thinking of this not send you into a rage inside? I mean not mad I mean a rage to hurt her. That poor child.

Just think the worst you have been hurt put that pain aside and realize you lived but this child didn't! How fucked up is that woman?
I would feel better if she knew what it was like to be that child under that belt. In fact I would disqualify myself, I don't think I could hit her hard enough.

Add to the death of that child the damage she has caused the parents and the rest of the family and friends of that child! Could you stay in a relationship with someone who's sister beat your child to death? If it's your sister how do you live with yourself not knowing this could happen? This story is so fucked up. Could your child stay friends with the sibling of the child that died? Maybe they can stay friends but your child never goes to their house again. And never does anything where those parents are supervising alone. The parents didn't do it but as the parent of child who is friends with a sibling of the dead child you can't trust them can you? The ripples just continue.

[Sparrow]

would i be able to beat an adult to death with a belt? i don't think so. for starters, i don't think i'm strong enough. secondly, the thrashing and screaming and crunching and squishing of a human person being destroyed is not something i could handle outside of an immediately stimulated blind rage and after the fact, as quickly as when my breathing started to slow, i'd be pretty messed up. intentionally taking a life, especially in an intimate way such as this, isn't as easy as a lot of laymen expect it to be and it has lasting effects on the perpetrator. most people's humanity is stronger than they think. there's a reason they have to train you to pull the trigger in the military and have emotional support after.

if you're toying with the idea of killing this person with a belt, then you understand how she could kill someone with a belt.