2641: Crazy Dimond

[Michael's Servant]

with Tim Dimond – Tim is out to fuckin’ lunch; Beauty and the Beast

Guest:
Tim Dimond


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[Scorpion]

I hit myself so hard I broke my own nose.

Nah just kidding. But I sound less crazy now when I say I gave myself a black eye.

But, no I didn't do that either. I have punched myself in the face more than once... on different occasions not at the same time that would be nuts!

[Archimedes_Screw]

Slap yourself in the face just before you orgasm. Your partner will have a WTF ORGASM guaranteed. #gamechanger.

[FingerLakes]

thank god for this episode reminding me of something I needed to jot down/discuss somewhere.

I was at my [straight] friend's place for a BBQ a few weeks back. There's a guy in my friend group who likes to be the center of attention and tell stories and make jokes, a role I usually take, so I decided to stop fighting him for attention and stop talking over each other and let him have the light. It's gets me less angry and he usually says something so fucking dumb that I end up laughing at him and feeling smarter anyway.

So at this BBQ there's 3 straight dudes and I decide to be quiet and let them lead the entire discussion.
We talk about the food and how to cook it for about 10 minutes then there's silence. After everyone sips some more beer the guy who likes the spotlight gets some very deep conversations going.

A -"Anyone ever get afraid to stand next to the grill? I mean there's a large can of gas next to a fire. THAT can't be good. heheh"
B-"lol yeah"
C- "No way. that canister is made to withstand X amount of heat. W'e'll be fine."
A-"I dunno..."
C- "Actually, a propane tank can withstand some pretty high tempretures. In college, when I joined this frat, they made the new kids try to blow one up in the woods. We started a fire and put the tank on it and ran like 100 yards."
Everyone - "wow!" me - "lolwtf why?"

-Silence-

A "i mean that's gotta be a big explosion. Even 100 yards away the shrapnel and debris would get you right?" Is there someone way to design the canister to explode in a way that it wouldn't have shrapnel? I mean there HAS to be. Just gotta get someone to invest in it"

-Silence-

A- "OK but what about the cable that connects to the grill tho? what if that gets cut? I mean i guess there's some covering on it..."


-Silence-

A- "So, C, you do a lot of biking now? I mean you bike right? How's that"
C- "oh biking is terrible in the city. There are just too many cars."
A- "YEAH MAN, too many cars! Especially in the city. I mean it must be easier in brooklyn....Do you bike in the city"
C- "I try not to. its crazy just going across town.
A- "Yeah. how fast do you go? I mean do you stop at lights or just keep going?"
C-"I obey the laws...when I have to."
A- "Yeah. I know this shortcut to cut across Houston but man I just don't want to get near cars"

More silences peppered slow sips of shitty beer and completely asinine, meaningless, emotionless chit chat. I felt like I was watching a science experiment.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by seamus

I've heard the Scandinavians don't talk unless there is something meaningful to be said. Are the Germans similar?

I'm Scandinavian.

[WittyReference]

I've hit myself but I have the same problem as when wanting to hit anyone else - I want to do it but I know it'll hurt so it ends up getting pulled to half intensity.

It was always out of frustration with myself. When you have two options to choose from - best long term option or short term gain of fun that will hurt in the long run - so you think about them, yeah I wont do the bad thing, I know the right thing to do, but now I've acknowledged that and delayed my gratification for 15 minutes, why don't I do the fun thing anyway? Sounds like a fool who needs a slap in the face.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by FingerLakes

More silences peppered slow sips of shitty beer and completely asinine, meaningless, emotionless chit chat. I felt like I was watching a science experiment.

Best way to avoid a BBQ from going boring is to break out some lawn games. Washers, ladder golf, or even just a frisbee.

The talking about food is pretty much inevitable but if you can keep people moving - it helps.

[FingerLakes]

the place is much too small for any real games, it's more a big terrace than a backyard, but you're right!
Usually games lke beer pong or flipcup are played but not that night.

There were a million other things to talk about was my main point. The guy hosting us was moving away for a job this summer, one guy had organized a group participating in the AIDS walk that happened that weekend, one guy recently came out as bi, one guy recently dumped his girlfriend, there were graduations and illnesses and a billion real things we all knew were going on but explosions and traffic were all they could come up with.

But I guess now I see why boys love beer pong, all you have to talk about is who is winning. No pressure to "get deep"