2879: In the Spirits w/ Julian McCullough

[Keith]

Dealing with a break-up; getting a tattoo to save a relationship; how to break up; Kate Spade's husband; Anthony Bourdain's suicide; maintaining an addiction; the effects of the homophobic bakery court ruling; woman's tilapia vagina

Guest:
Julian McCullough



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[LoopyLou79]

I was just joking with my husband because I’m learning hypnotherapy that I would hypnotise myself and get a tattoo. I said I would get a list of men I’d slept with with line through and then his name at the bottom tattooed on my bum

It was the funniest/most gross tattoo I could come up with 😂😂😂.

[starscream]

This is really weird, I drove by his billboard today and thought, "oh I don't think he's been on Keith and The Girl, so he must be terrible."

[Mermaid]

I love Julian.

I feel personally attacked. Cause the guy I liked was like Keith and wasn't ready to have emotions for someone again yet.

I get it. But it's annoying.

Cause it feels like it was just a waste of my time. Why date if you aren't open to having feelings?

[Sparrow]

Sarge and i got matching tattoos in Charleston from a very large and buxom ICP fan named Govina before he left on his first tour. they're characters from Shel Silverstein's book The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. i have the little o rolling on its own and he has the Big O and little o rolling together. neither one of us covered them up in subsequent years. don't think we have plans to. it's a nice book and not an awful reminder we still have each others' backs.

[thirteen]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

I love Julian.

I feel personally attacked. Cause the guy I liked was like Keith and wasn't ready to have emotions for someone again yet.

I get it. But it's annoying.

Cause it feels like it was just a waste of my time. Why date if you aren't open to having feelings?

I completely agree with you. I think people should take the time to heal before they move on.

In an ideal world, people who are not emotionally available would recognize that in themselves and make it clear from the very beginning that they are not interested in anything serious. Then they would follow through with that by communicating it now and then, especially if they feel that the other person wants to do more and more date-like activities or they feel they are getting attached.

I think Keith declining to go to the Sex and the City thing is a clear indication that he's not interested in anything serious, and I think the woman realized that. Having boundaries is a good thing.

I also think they should recognize when the other person is getting attached, and break it off before causing further pain. And not in the "I'm going to be an asshole until you break up with me because I'm a chicken shit." Do it quickly, and, if you've been on more than just a handful of dates, do it in person.

Here are some reasons a person may date again before they're ready to open up and have a serious relationship:

- They're bored.
- They want sex.
- They need to fill a hole.
- They don't want to be in a serious relationship but the person they like does, so they continue to have their cake and eat it, until the other person clues in.
- They are hoping a new person will help them get over their ex.
- They miss the feeling of having a partner (companionship).
- They genuinely think they may find a serious partner.

[Keith]

Sometimes the pain from a relationship is too much that you're not ready to catch feelings or find happiness.

Right?

OR, like everyone else, us non-commitment daters couldn't help but catch feelings if we were head-over-heels with somebody or we should be checked into a mental hospital for being fuckin' psychotic.

[joslingeneva]

Julian was fun and a hand full! Can't wait to get the behind the scenes on LW on KATG.
Love you guys and as always thanks for the content.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by thirteen

I think Keith declining to go to the Sex and the City thing is a clear indication that he's not interested in anything serious, and I think the woman realized that. Having boundaries is a good thing.

I think Keith declining to go to the Sex and the City thing is a clear indication he has taste and dignity. What kind of woman invites a man to a boring thing that clearly caters solely to women?

I think Keith realized this woman couldn’t possibly be taken serious. Drawing a line against compromising personal integrity and not going on an awful date, that you know you’re gonna hate, is a good thing.

You made some good points in your post though. I’ve wasted time on dating apps where I met damn near the perfect woman. Weeks later I think we’re getting serious. We click on so many levels. Also the fact she put LOOKING FOR SERIOUS in her profile - made me think yeah.

We’re about to have sex. She announces she’s polyamorous. I’ve never seen my penis run so fast. Worst part was I think she thought I’d think it was hot if she brought her girlfriend into the mix... we’re both in our late thirties. I’m not looking for a fuck buddy. Man. Really broke my heart.

I went from marking the calendar of ‘meet her mom’ when she’s in town - to ‘is this weirdo giving me STDs / go to clinic / she’s a sex fiend?! I should have known too. She had this amazing gigantic bed. I’d never seen one before. Now I know. That’s an orgy bed.

What a dirty bitch. I get angry just thinking about it. “Can’t we just have fun?” Um. No. That’s not what I signed up for. I really think eHarmony should sue the vagina off this woman.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

What a dirty bitch.

I get angry just thinking about it.

That’s not what I signed up for.

back up that truck, hoss. she's not a dirty bitch b/c you have different ideas of what you want out of a relationship. she's not a high holy angel that fell from grace crushing you with disappointment; she's simply not monogamous. deal with it like less of a dick.