6: Toe-Curling Sex

[Keith]

While Adam Brown and BaJames deal with THE VIRUS, KATG songsmith B. Jason joins Keith and Hollywood Craig Klein as they discuss COVID-19, the government, immune systems, family, Tom Brady, Tiger King, Frozen 2, drugs, and Trump’s ownership in cemeteries.

Guests:
Craig Klein


Jason Ouellette


Keith Malley



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[NotARegularMom]

Woohoo! Waking up to an episode of Diamond Dogs made my day. B. Jason was a fantastic addition. You’ve got my approval to have him on anytime. I’ve probably mentioned before that I LOVE Craig Klein. And Keith is alright too.

It’s nice to hear the big cities are following social distancing rules. It’s not happening much in Oklahoma. There are still whole families of 5-6 at the grocery stores. People are taking their toddlers with them! Only a few people are acknowledging to stay 6ft away from you. People reached right over my shoulder for stuff on the shelf. The urge to cough at them was strong. I’ve seen a handful of people with masks & gloves on.

My best friend of 29-30 years is still going out to bars. They are bikers. They meet up with friends and go on rides to counties that aren’t closed down. It’s hard to even carry on a conversation with her right now. She says it’s all “stupid”. I saw people on Facebook take their kids out of town for spring break last week. I’m judging those people.

Our schools are closed for the remainder of the year. That’s good with me. Not sure how I’m going to “homeschool” my son. A 13 year old with non verbal autism & an intellectual disability has a different day than your typical 13 year old. His consists of speech, occupational & physical therapy. He has a 1 on 1 aide with him all day. So, it’s 2 trained professionals working with him all day. Now, the poor kid is stuck with his pothead mom to fill all those roles until....whenever. It’ll be fine though. We’re fine. It’s fine. So, that’s what this parent is going through.

I can’t wait until Keith finishes Joe Exotic. There are several twists and turns coming up. Who doesn’t want to watch a gay polygamist with a bleach blonde mullet and raging meth addiction?

Thank you for putting out a much needed dose of Diamond Dogs!

[Mado]

I’ve been in a dark place, not really laughing as much as I need today. Whooooo boy, you guys pulled me out of it with the simple phrase “catfish popper” HAHAHAHAHA. Thank you.

[craigklein]

Originally Posted by Mado

I’ve been in a dark place, not really laughing as much as I need today. Whooooo boy, you guys pulled me out of it with the simple phrase “catfish popper” HAHAHAHAHA. Thank you.

That line was actually specifically for you. Im happy it was received.

[FingerLakes]

As a perv who has more than once told Keith to piss on me, even I gotta admit Keith sure has a special talent for making sex sound fucking disgusting on this show.

I would like the title of this year's album to be "Why didn't my mom teach me how good sex feels?"

[FingerLakes]

PS
Keith ARE you doing whippits or you just back on the poppers?

PPS
can the acid you dont take be a giveaway for KATG week?

[Keith]

I don’t know if that literal dog still stands by that acid but I got it...

And no, just whippets when the whip cream is out when there’s still gas. Always been my rule.

Poppers, sure. Same $3 bottle since 2009.

[Piscean]

Craig has some interesting thoughts from time to time. The one I found amusing this time was when he said something about "stopping paying rent helps everyone"

Uh, unless you own the rental unit. The bank still wants the mortgage payment every month. The property taxes are still due. Insurance is still due.

If the renters don't pay rent, where does the money come from to pay for all that?

[Keith]

I do think it was clear he meant it all stops for everyone.