Show Notes

• — Haley Joy Joyce: We're all just curious what you said to Haley to make her forget the real you for a few seconds
• — A Therapist And A Shotgun: Jesse asks me questions about stuff he doesn't know then argues with me about the answer
• — Your Future Children: Twins are crazy half-people, they're all kind of fucked up
• — Ask Dina: What do I do? I don't want my shitty hobo boyfriend to live with me. I really don't want to be around him. What to do...
• — Only in New York: Actually Cindy, that wasn't in New York, that was in D.C.
• — Good Evening, Ohio: There are 62 people in that band and not a single one of them could tell Bruce Springsteen he's not in Ohio
• — The Board Of Bullshit: I really don't care and you're wasting you're time. In fact, I'd like the opposite of you for President.
• — Physical Comedy: I'll be a frog, you be a frog. Ribbit! I'm a frog!
• — El Presidente: It's lies! Your resume is lies! I took a shit once in South Africa, I'm proficient in South African!
• — Your Loyal Fans: I was forced to move to London and live in this relaxing pool house, my life sucks
• — Too Whiny Too Late: Plaintiffs were decades too late to bitch about The Redskins' name, the world could give a fuck
• — No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: A soldier is guilty of gun possession for finding a gun and returning it to the authorities
• — Jon Plus Lawsuit: Jon Gosselin is suing TLC back, cause that's how the world works
• — Waiving Your Rights: Wipeout contestant is found dead after having a heart attack from competing
• — This Dumb Dunce: Sarah Palin does interviews all week, the world watches in awe of her retardation